Neil Hamilton returns to Tatton! Er no…

This was spotted by an eagle eyed KTreader…  Obviously we know that Neil Hamilton isn’t returning to Tatton and we’re not going waste anyone’s time at Tatton Conservative HQ or calling up the Bell household for comment but we could not resist this shot… oddly positioned near a tired old shed….. funny that..

Cheers SF for the spotting this beauty! Photo (c) Jonathan Farber photography – farber.co.uk & Knutsfordtimes.com

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Yes yes I know…

Well its been too long since I posted anything, I have wanted to but its been one of those months, I mean 5 months where time is more than an enemy, instead its a huge hungry animal with teeth and jaws and the ability to chew on my bones…

The truth is that I am considering transferring comments that I would generally make here on the blog into the main paper. Let;s face it, the thing needs some opinionated bullshit to cast some sort of subtle shadow on the nicely nicely….as a form of comedy contrast you understand. Anyhow that’s all for this meager update but rest assured that I will be adding more comments again soon once the printed version has come out…

Idiot Cyclists!

Can some one contact the knutsfordtimes.com and please help us answer the burning question:

“Why do cyclists cycle the wrong way along King Street and Princess Street”

Not sure if I have missed something in the current edition of the Highway Code, but from my recollection Cyclists are not exempt from the rules and regulations with regards to one way streets. The BBC  ran a piece this morning on the increase of cycling injuries and deaths and as usual the motorist is to blame. Granted there are more bikes on the roads and I’m not saying that every driver is as nice as pie to cyclists, fact, they’re not, but there is a growing issue with the total disregard of safety by cyclists on UK roads.

Surely I am not the only one to see a cyclist zip accross the front of the car to get pole at a set of traffic lights the second they turn or meet one, or if its a Sunday two or more cyclists head on when driving up King Street.

Any thoughts..?

Its no wonder people dont vote..

So, the current government commission a multi-million pound report into education in England to see how it can be improved…. The main focus of the results, as everyone in the country expected, is that children should NOT be formally educated until they are at least six years of age and that S.A.T’s should be scrapped completely. What did the government do? Ignore it and send the report including all of its results packing… in France, when the government stop listening the people start shouting.

If there is ever a time for change, it is now. We need to look more closely at social reform in this country if we are to regain our productive and socioeconomic strength.  We live in an amazing country, and I speak of the United Kingdom as a whole, we are enriched with history our own culture and an amazing ability to acheave anything though adversity.

Although we can be pointlessly intolerant, and at at times, over the most ridiculous of issues, we still have that clutch of moral fibres and a general code of behavioral conduct that keeps us from unchecked descent. I want to build on the remains of our moral code and reconstruct the very sensibility that once saw the United Kingdom sit as the top table for international respect,  common sense, trust and wisdom.

Its OUR country, we can change it. So, start shouting.

Definition of a tosspot

Honestly, please excuse the title but I am positively outraged at this utter tosser and his irresponsible act of complete insanity.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8308946.stm

Lock up your bike… for what its worth…

At exactly 5:25am -5:35am on Sunday 11 October an unknown male scroat-bag was seen cutting the lock off my bloody mountain bike. The bike was well secured with an approved device but sadly he managed to snip through the cable at its weakest point and gain access the bicycle.

It was a woman wearing stilettos walking about noisily on King Street that actually woke me. I had drifted off to sleep on the sofa and the falling room temperature was motivation enough to head off in search of warmth  and the confines of cosy bed covers.

Don’t ask me why, but I decided to look out of the opaque window and spotted an unusually large shadow next to the bike. I snapped on the balcony lights, gingerly peered through curtains and to my amazement there was a guy there cutting away at the lock

As the red mist began to descend I was playing out a few scenarios. Burst out, pick him up and chuck him over the balcony, resulting in serious injury or even death that would have ultimately led to me enjoying a extended break in one of her majesties spa hotels, without the option of a morning paper.

Scenario two, jump out naked and scare the living sh1t out of him and give chase down the street. Naturally I really didn’t want to find myself sectioned by Cheshire Police and social services. Or just maybe it was the idea that exposure would highlight the fact that, in my case, the “large feet” rule doesn’t necessarily apply.

Sadly I resorted to a more passive means of assault, I reached over and switched on the 500w security light that was only few short meters away from the robber’s face. Immediately he stood up and started walking off suffering the effects of retina burn.

I watched the DESCRIPTION REMOVED TO PROTECT THE ROBBERS IDENTITY – YEAH, INSERT LAUGH – AND TO HELP POLICE IN CASE HE PRESENTS HIMSELF AT ANOTHER MORE SERIOUS SCENE - walk along the balcony towards the gate and down the steps and onto the pavement.

He then turned right down King street to make his escape, out of curiosity, I walked over to the kitchen window to see if he’d fled across the carpark. Amazingly the chap was sprinting along Moorside Road away from the crime of the century like a frightened gazelle in fear of its life.

I popped out to discover that he had actually snipped the bloody lock off the bike, My guess is that he’d just cut through the last wire when I clicked on the 500 wall mounted watt phase canon… Ahhh, what a disappointment for him.! (snigger, snigger) I even hid across the road at the Belle époque in the shadows armed with… a camera and a ultra powerful torch in the hope that he would return to the scene as he was soooo tantalizingly close to his goal.

Christmas? Leave it out

I can’t believe it… wrapping paper, Christmas cards and tins of sweets already on sale in Knutsford? Bugger off please, its September.!

Ultra-Super Healthcare PFI megacentre.

You know,  the realisation there is nothing that we “the people” can do any more when the system needs changing, or in some cases, does not, is quite a crushing sensation….. Perhaps we should take a leaf out of the french way of getting want we want or stopping the things we don’t want.

Having received the Knutsford and District Community Healthcare Plan recently, I now see the full scale and impact of the initiative. Currently, Knutsford residents enjoy excellent access and service from the surrounding surgeries we don’t have weeks to wait to see a doctor and in most cases,  a matter of hours.

The new Ultra-Super Healthcare Megacentre is truly one of those developments that for me,  defies belief or had I just got the wrong end of the stick here…? What is wrong with the site on Bexton road ? Understandably is needs some modernisation, redevelopment and support but its an existing town centre easy-to-walk-to right-near-the-bus-terminal location surely makes is a right choice?!?!

All of the additional services promised by the USHPM outside of the current offering does not appear to warrant the development on acres of greenfield in Knutsford

Just out of interest, where exactly does the current waste & recycling site go? I know, lets put it in the heath, its easy to get to, its on all the main access roads and lets face it we don’t appear to care that much about green spaces any more apart from the Moor.

From the information I have its a done deal… and the Public inquiry is just a paper exercise to show that the NHS is “doing the right thing”

Are there any results from these USHPM’s? in other similar areas? is there any information about the change impact on the community? please add a comment at the bottom of this posting.

Shoppers are getting shafted

Its true, if you visit Knutsford on a bank holiday you now have to pay to park…. and by the looks of things, if you are here on Christmas and New Years day, you are likely to scoop up a lovely £30 fine…how far is this all going to go… First they chop the parking times on King Street down to an unworkable half an hour and then take the p**s with a 20 minute time allocation on Princess Street… TWENTY MINUTES!!!

1 – Park up….clock starts….
2 – Make your way to the post office, queue for 10 mins with a parcel… clock ticking… under collar temperature increasing…
3 – Get to the bank… wait in queue for 8 mins… tick tock, tick tock…. stress level rising..
4 – Sprint to local independent retailer but since getting from bank to current location….times up… blood pressure at max
5 – Get back to car, drive off, and think.. why come into Knutsford?… its a pain in the arse..
6 – Shop online instead, its easier….
7 – Good bye retailers….

You can express your love for Cheshire East by calling 0300 123 55 00 or 01244 973 572. If you want to learn more on the wheareabouts of our well spent public money you can read Cheshire East Parking Strategy by clicking here.

THANKS CHESHIRE EAST FOR MAKING OUR LIVES BETTER..

Petrol up 2p…. you know why?

If the government actually said that they are going to increase fuel prices by 30p per litre, hike income tax up by 8% accross the board, add 25p to the price of cigarettes, charge an additional 25p on a pint of beer and introduce a higher envirotaxes for motorists using cars older than five years, people wouldn’t do a thing about any of it! Why?, Because we don’t care anymore.

REMEMBER, GOVERNMENTS LIKE APATHY!!! If you don’t vote, and you cant be arsed speaking up because you don’t think that change is possible, you have actually become the citizen that is deeply loved by the government, so go on, feel the love and do **** all….. or take a stand to make a change.

Grow some nuts Brittan…